Thursday, November 22, 2007


Jack and Diane - A Love Story

They'd known each other since their school days and had since become the best of friends. They shared everything and anything and spent lots time together in and after school. But the friendship never developed into anything deeper. Diane kept a secret: her admiration and love for Jack. She had her reasons for keeping it a secret. FEAR.Fear of rejection... fear that he might not feel the same... fear that he might not want to be her best friend anymore... fear of losing someone that she could always find comfort in. At least if she kept her feelings to herself she would still be able to spend time with him... and hopefully, he would be the one to tell her how he felt towards her.
Time passed, and soon school was over. Jack and Diane went separate ways. Jack continued his studies overseas, while Diane got herself a job. They still kept in touch though...penned letters, sent each other photographs, and mailed each other gifts. Diane longed for Jack to be back. She decided that she would tell him her feelings once he got back. And then out of the blue... the mails from Jack stopped coming. Diane wrote to him, but there was never a reply. Where was he? What happened? Lots of questions ran through her mind...Two years passed and Diane was still hopeful that Jack would come back... or at least send her a note.

And then her prayers were answered. One mid-August day, she received a note from Jack. It said:Diane,I have a surprise for you. I'm flying over. Meet me at the airport. My flight comes in at 4pm on Saturday. I can't wait to see you again! There's something I need to tell you, something I've been keeping inside all this time. Love & Kisses, Jack. Diane's fingers shook as she read the note. Her heart soared. Diane was thrilled. Love and kisses... it meant a lot for a lady who had waited so long for those words. She was ecstatic!

The day arrived, and Diane waited anxiously for Jack. She had slipped into her best dress, and did her best to look as pretty as she could. She looked around... but Jack was nowhere in sight. She waited and waited, wondering what she would say to Jack when he got there, what their meeting would be like. Would there be love in his eyes? Would there be longing, bred from years of separation and hiding each others' feelings? Oh, how she longed to see him! How she longed to throw her arms around him and tell him she was a fool to ever let him go without ever telling him how she felt! And she was certain Jack felt it too. There was always a certain magic about them when they were together. Then a lady in a sexy, tight, blue dress approached her. She had a very concerned look on her face, "Hi! I'm Lynn, a friend of Jack. Are you Diane?" she asked. Diane just nodded her head."I'm afraid I... I have bad news for you. Jack is not coming... he won't be coming back anymore," said the lady, placing a hand on Diane's shoulder. Diane shook her head in confusion. She felt her heart constrict.What could possibly have happened? Diane felt an overwhelming fear inside her. Her hands turned cold. Her voice shook as she asked: "Where... where's Jack? What happened to him? Please tell me..." Diane begged the lady...

The lady looked intently at Diane... and then she gave Diane a nudge on the shoulder and said... "HOY GAGA! IT'S ME, JACK... JACKILYN!! DI MO NA AKO NAKILALA?! ANG GANDA-GANDA KO NGAYON, DI VAAAAH?! ECHUSERA KA NAMAN MASYADO SISTER! KAKALOKA KAH HUH!! TEKA, SANDALI... MEET MY 'PAPA'!!" Kawawang Diane, hindi lang nawasak ang puso... inapak-apakan pa ng Jack, este Lynn pala! O siya, ipasa mo na lang sa iba para makaganti ka!!!! he he he..

Monday, November 12, 2007


BREAD PITT - Bakery is still number 1 business sa community. Ito medyo may dating ang pangalan. or ANITA BAKERy

BOTE NGA SA IYO - Junk shop are mushrooming now, everywhere.

FRIED OF MARIKINA - A chicken house.

FELIX THE CUT -a barber shop

CAINTACKY - an eatery located in Cainta, Rizal

DORIS DAY & NIGHT - 24 hours eatery.

TOKWA-TOKWA - Tokwa-lugaw eatery.

COOKING NG INA MO - A Karinderya w/ your mother recipes as specialties.

CHRISTOPHER PLUMBING - Plumbing problems?

BABALIK KARINDERIA - Talagang babalikan lalo na kung masarap.

PANSIT NG TAGA MALABONI -In tradition of Pansit Malabon na nasa Mandaluyong.

CLEOPATAS - A pata house

LET'S GO-AT TOGETHER - A goat restaurant.

LITO LAPIDa - Lapida maker.

HOLLYWEIRD - A novelty store.

LION KING VIDEO- a video rental shop.

MacDonuts- a doughnut shop.

MARUYA CAREY - Maruya (banana pan cake) Turon (Banana fritters)

MANG DONALD - a local burger restaurant.

MEMORY DRUG - Magandang kumpetensiya ng Mercury Drug.

MIKI MAO - A noodle house w/ Chinese and Disney sounding name.

PETAL ATTRACTION - a flower shop in Diliman.

SikaTUNA - grilled tuna belly at its best along Sikatuna Village, QC.

THE WAY WE WEAR - a boutique.

WRAP AND ROLL - A lumpia outlet.

WALANG TULUGAN - A funeral parlor.

And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis. Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish' (ThePhilippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:
At a restaurant menu in Cebu "We had sopdrink in can an in batol" [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].

Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises - [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......

In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of thePhilippines: " Wanted: Boy Waitress"

On a highway in Pampanga: "We Make Modern Antique Furniture"

On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: "We Shoot You WhileYou Wait"

And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila: "Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier". Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:

A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: "We Sell ImportedRobber Shoes" (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);

A rental property sign in Jaro reads: "House For Rent, Fully Furnaced"(it must really be hot inside)!

Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not altogether odd. City in southern Philippines which said: "Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation".

European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia - which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho andMr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!

Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient."The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, "says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign .....HouseFersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two will do?

According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because "We are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive". We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.
Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

100% PINOY!

Every street has a basketball court.

Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.

Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.

Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.

School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.

Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.

Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.

Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.

Everything can be forged.

All kinds of animals are edible.

Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.

Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.

Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.

Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.

The personal computer is mainly used for games andFriendster.

Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!

Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.

People can pay to defy the law.

Everything and everyone is spoofed.

Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and TommyHilfiger (peke)!

The honking of car horns is a way of life.

Being called a bum is never offensive.

Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during therainy season.

Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.

Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.

Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones.(GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)

Where insurance does not work.

Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.

Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).

Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen tothat!)

Where University of thePhilippines where all the weird people go.

Ateneo is where all the nerds go.

La Salle is where all the Chinese go.

College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;

University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.

Fast food is a diet meal.

Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.

Rodents are normal house pets.

The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.

Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;

The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.

Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.

Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

Where actors make the rules and where politicians providetheentertainment.

People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.

Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)

Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not paytheir tax) - than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.

And where everyone wants to leave the country!